Privilege-Fight-Flight-or Freeze
On Sundays I try to keep things light and geared towards sensual writing, but there is just to much going on in the world to stick to that schedule, today I need to talk about privilege.
If you are interested in some Sensual Sunday poetry
please go read my Poetic Pillow Talk page.
There is a couple of really dynamic poems
from the guest poet SoulRac and myself. #SensualSunday
http://whatcurvywomenwant.blogspot.com/p/pillow-talk.html
First I wanna acknowledge and talk about my privilege then we'll branch out from there.
I am a woman that is almost entirely of Caucasoid descent, this means I am very white. I live in the United States of America where we have practiced genocide on non-whites since at least the late 1400s.
We are a country built on systematic oppression, murder, capitalism, with a touch of Socialism thrown in, dreams, hope, broken treaties, broken promises, beautiful views, and the continuously misplaced value on the voice of a white person over the voice and quite often evidence of a Person of Color (POC).
We have come a long ways since slavery but much of the idealism behind slavery still exists especially within our government, the so called enforcers of law, and certain groups allowed to operate without the label of a terrorist organization such as the KKK.
The structure of the U.S. is very stratified not to the point that one may see in regions such as Egypt but in a way that keeps the rich at the top and the rest of us fighting between ourselves to rise to even blue collar mediocrity.
The reason my being a white woman matters in the conversation of privilege is the system has allotted me certain privileges for most of my life. These privileges include better schools, cleaner neighborhoods, until recently always being able to get a job, having my voice matter to authority more than others voices, Getting pulled over less even when I drive considerably faster than others. And, last night I was once again given a free pass by the police. I do appreciate the pass and this is an area where I am so grateful for my white privilege and it's my invisibility to cops when I am traveling alone.
I do want to clarify that poverty affects many aspects of white privilege and growing up in the system of foster care and or group homes may also correlate closely to ones privilege, such as my schools were crap, abuse to girls was turned a blind eye as the old saying goes "Boys will be boys" and other such crap examples. There is also a huge difference in gender and privilege, society is structured to put men at the top and women in a subservient position that encourages abuse towards women that rise past that ugly ass glass ceiling structured into our society.
Now back to my white lady pass.
Picture this, a mostly Hispanic Motorcycle club is having a few drinks with friends and strangers at the bar, 1:30 rolls around most leave, but some are waiting for a taxi, others are helping close the bar, some are finishing the last of the drinks, we are all dancing and being silly, myself I was also waiting for the cigarettes to clear out from the walk way so I could leave. About 1:45 cops start to roll in, they line the street in front of the fire-house, well now no one left wants to leave because we know they are going to check everyone for DUI's at the least. It gets so much worse than a DUI checkpoint you see these cops were looking to book everyone left in the bar as a gang and to catch any people without a legal status as a citizen of the U.S. A few people were detained before the cops even came in the building, it looked like around 5, I heard people mentioning ICE. I'm not sure if they were actually arrested but their documents were definitely being examined.
Now here is where we see some serious privilege, and examples of the three primary responses to fear which are freeze, flight, or fight. First the cops were exercising their privilege to badger, frighten, and intimidate people just trying to get home to their loved ones, most of these cops were white men, there were at least 8 officers. Then we have the DJ in the building who sees this going on and starts chanting fuck the police over the microphone, (Fight) and of course we're drinking and having fun so the whole group joins in. Well one particular officer did not like that very much and called in more cops, so here we sit a group of random people inside a bar staring at a group of cops through the looking glass.
Some girls were hiding in the bathroom also as you never really know what is going to get thrown at you when people abuse their privilege especially when they use their privilege as power. For POC it is a very hard & constant reality that death might be the outcome, so in this case (Fear) was the response. Originally I was in the bathroom with them too, because that is what I was doing when all of this started, I'll be honest I was over indulging in myself and taking selfies and thinking how nice my legs looked when boom my world was suddenly not about me anymore.
So we are all trying to finish our drinks quickly but at 2am they start to advance on the bar, the bartender grabs everyone's drinks and dumps them as fast as she can so she can abide by the no serving after 2am law. Which technically she was not serving anyone after 2 am. The DJ gets highly agitated and starts telling everyone to lock the door, meanwhile we are all just staring quietly at this rather large group of advancing cops and counting our numbers. I realized I had no numbers and I was alone so decided to act like I worked there and just started cleaning the tables and minding my own business but also watching very closely waiting for when I may be needed.
The bartender just keeps working and trying her best to deescalate the situation. One by one they come into the building and immediately start asking who is in charge, and a whole bunch of other questions. One cop starts going through each room with a flashlight looking for others and that is when the two girls came out of the bathroom they were not doing anything illegal they were just afraid. (Freeze)
The DJ has moved past the privilege of being a legal citizen and a man and the fight response he had initially with the glass wall between all of us is gone, and he is in full blown fear mode. His hands are in the air and he is repeatedly asking the officers not to shoot him, and if he can move and the cops are trying to tell him he can but they are grouping around him and he is becoming more agitated as they circle up.
At this point an officer that used to work in Narcotics comes in and starts sort of bullying this already extremely nervous DJ by telling him things like it's his fault they came in because of his chant and claiming that we are all part of a gang because there are more than 3 of us.
(Well if that is the logic, Walmart has a truckload of gang activity daily)
He also informed us that we probably had drugs as gang members, so many absolute lies came out of this mans mouth that I just started texting my friend because I was hella nervous and completely without any knowledge of who any of these people were. At this point the DJ decides that I will be his saving grace tells the cops I am his girl and I'm waiting to drive him home.
(What?,,,,,, ok whatever gets us out of here safely-White privilege to the rescue). The cops asked me if this was true and if I was there as a designated driver I sort of shrugged my shoulders affirmatively afraid to speak for "fear" of bringing attention to myself and becoming a target also, but I knew that I had to do something at the same time so I stepped up I tried to get the DJ to let me pack up the PA so we could get out of there but the cops were not going to let us just leave, they checked everyone's documents (everyone but mine) and continued threatening the bartender and DJ with all of the supposed crimes we were committing.
Around a quarter of 3 a light dings in one of the cops brains and one of them states they are actually breaking the law by keeping us in the bar so they have us all go outside where we have to sit quietly while they decide what to do with us. I am told to sit and wait as I have to drive people home, others taxis arrive, some peoples parents arrived, girlfriends etc.
Again no one checked my documentation but were more than willing to let me drive other people home. Maybe it was because I was calm, cool, collected or maybe it was because I was the only white person there to trust in their ideology. I don't know what was behind their thinking but I know I was hella privileged to not be subjected to their questions, lies, and bullying tactics.
Everyone was allowed to leave and the bar staff, DJ, and I were waiting for the cops to leave so we could leave also. When the cops did leave the three of us remaining hopped in the DJs car and I proceeded to drive them home. Dropped one off and at this point the DJ is telling me how to drive, how he does not usually like white girls but I'm so sexy I'm so this I'm so that, blah blah blah.
I am listening to all of these compliments carefully sandwiched into a complex mumble jumble amount of disgust for white people in general, all I can think is "You motherfucker so I am good enough to help you out of a jamup but now I am just a white girl again, only good enough to fuck?, please give me your address so I can drop you off and walk back to my place". His house ended up being way further than I thought btw. I get him back to his place and he starts trying to get me to come up, now this is where my (fight) came in although as a person with a SW degree it was heavily PC'd.
To summarize I said no, no thanks, not interested and a bunch of other responses where he continued to try to get me to stay this time he went into the safety argument while yes it was unsafe for me to walk 7 miles at 4 am it felt much less safe to go into an apartment with an agitated man that was clearly exercising his sexist privileges to get me there. He even asked me if I wasn't going to come up why did I drive him home, this is the funny part because all I could think was I wanted to help you and the cops told me to, and you put me in this situation by telling them I was going to drive you home. I really had to resist the urge to slap the shit out of him for saying that by the way.
I got out and walked my ass home or started to, a few blocks into it I got cold and called my roommate for a ride which he gladly did even though I woke him up, I only ended up walking a little over a mile, so thanks Trae.
In regards to his question about why I drove him home, Even in my defiance there was compliance to the authority, you see the whole time this was going on I kept picturing the brutal murder of Philando Castile and I felt like the whole reason for my existence last night was to be in that moment to de-escalate the situation, and make sure this DJ was not shot, killed and another statistic for a cops paid vacation.
His attempt at coercion and many of the other conversations I have listed here are examples of sexist behaviors where we see male privilege in general not white privilege just the egotistical male that has grown up in a society that uses females to get ahead and then drops em. Well if it was my car I would of pulled over and dropped him on the side of the road.
My head hurts and the adrenaline is completely wore off so I think that about sums up my first blog on privilege. I have lots more experiences with different types of privilege, accountability and observations of the parasympathetic nervous system I want to discuss in the near future so please leave a comment about how privilege has affected you and let's keep the conversation rolling.
-The Pueblo Poetess, 7-1-18.
Today's musical suggestion is all about me, lol. https://youtu.be/jCWlGJLEJoQ
Author - The Pueblo Poetess.
The Pueblo Poetess holds
multiple Degrees from the
University of MT. Poet,
Singer-Songwriter, Blogger,
Photographer, Curve Model,
Entertainer & more.
It's a Trade Thing, photography by your #happycoppertop :)
If you are interested in some Sensual Sunday poetry
There is a couple of really dynamic poems
from the guest poet SoulRac and myself. #SensualSunday
http://whatcurvywomenwant.blogspot.com/p/pillow-talk.html
First I wanna acknowledge and talk about my privilege then we'll branch out from there.
I am a woman that is almost entirely of Caucasoid descent, this means I am very white. I live in the United States of America where we have practiced genocide on non-whites since at least the late 1400s.
We are a country built on systematic oppression, murder, capitalism, with a touch of Socialism thrown in, dreams, hope, broken treaties, broken promises, beautiful views, and the continuously misplaced value on the voice of a white person over the voice and quite often evidence of a Person of Color (POC).
We have come a long ways since slavery but much of the idealism behind slavery still exists especially within our government, the so called enforcers of law, and certain groups allowed to operate without the label of a terrorist organization such as the KKK.
The structure of the U.S. is very stratified not to the point that one may see in regions such as Egypt but in a way that keeps the rich at the top and the rest of us fighting between ourselves to rise to even blue collar mediocrity.
The reason my being a white woman matters in the conversation of privilege is the system has allotted me certain privileges for most of my life. These privileges include better schools, cleaner neighborhoods, until recently always being able to get a job, having my voice matter to authority more than others voices, Getting pulled over less even when I drive considerably faster than others. And, last night I was once again given a free pass by the police. I do appreciate the pass and this is an area where I am so grateful for my white privilege and it's my invisibility to cops when I am traveling alone.
I do want to clarify that poverty affects many aspects of white privilege and growing up in the system of foster care and or group homes may also correlate closely to ones privilege, such as my schools were crap, abuse to girls was turned a blind eye as the old saying goes "Boys will be boys" and other such crap examples. There is also a huge difference in gender and privilege, society is structured to put men at the top and women in a subservient position that encourages abuse towards women that rise past that ugly ass glass ceiling structured into our society.
Now back to my white lady pass.
Picture this, a mostly Hispanic Motorcycle club is having a few drinks with friends and strangers at the bar, 1:30 rolls around most leave, but some are waiting for a taxi, others are helping close the bar, some are finishing the last of the drinks, we are all dancing and being silly, myself I was also waiting for the cigarettes to clear out from the walk way so I could leave. About 1:45 cops start to roll in, they line the street in front of the fire-house, well now no one left wants to leave because we know they are going to check everyone for DUI's at the least. It gets so much worse than a DUI checkpoint you see these cops were looking to book everyone left in the bar as a gang and to catch any people without a legal status as a citizen of the U.S. A few people were detained before the cops even came in the building, it looked like around 5, I heard people mentioning ICE. I'm not sure if they were actually arrested but their documents were definitely being examined.
Now here is where we see some serious privilege, and examples of the three primary responses to fear which are freeze, flight, or fight. First the cops were exercising their privilege to badger, frighten, and intimidate people just trying to get home to their loved ones, most of these cops were white men, there were at least 8 officers. Then we have the DJ in the building who sees this going on and starts chanting fuck the police over the microphone, (Fight) and of course we're drinking and having fun so the whole group joins in. Well one particular officer did not like that very much and called in more cops, so here we sit a group of random people inside a bar staring at a group of cops through the looking glass.
Some girls were hiding in the bathroom also as you never really know what is going to get thrown at you when people abuse their privilege especially when they use their privilege as power. For POC it is a very hard & constant reality that death might be the outcome, so in this case (Fear) was the response. Originally I was in the bathroom with them too, because that is what I was doing when all of this started, I'll be honest I was over indulging in myself and taking selfies and thinking how nice my legs looked when boom my world was suddenly not about me anymore.
So we are all trying to finish our drinks quickly but at 2am they start to advance on the bar, the bartender grabs everyone's drinks and dumps them as fast as she can so she can abide by the no serving after 2am law. Which technically she was not serving anyone after 2 am. The DJ gets highly agitated and starts telling everyone to lock the door, meanwhile we are all just staring quietly at this rather large group of advancing cops and counting our numbers. I realized I had no numbers and I was alone so decided to act like I worked there and just started cleaning the tables and minding my own business but also watching very closely waiting for when I may be needed.
The bartender just keeps working and trying her best to deescalate the situation. One by one they come into the building and immediately start asking who is in charge, and a whole bunch of other questions. One cop starts going through each room with a flashlight looking for others and that is when the two girls came out of the bathroom they were not doing anything illegal they were just afraid. (Freeze)
The DJ has moved past the privilege of being a legal citizen and a man and the fight response he had initially with the glass wall between all of us is gone, and he is in full blown fear mode. His hands are in the air and he is repeatedly asking the officers not to shoot him, and if he can move and the cops are trying to tell him he can but they are grouping around him and he is becoming more agitated as they circle up.
At this point an officer that used to work in Narcotics comes in and starts sort of bullying this already extremely nervous DJ by telling him things like it's his fault they came in because of his chant and claiming that we are all part of a gang because there are more than 3 of us.
(Well if that is the logic, Walmart has a truckload of gang activity daily)
He also informed us that we probably had drugs as gang members, so many absolute lies came out of this mans mouth that I just started texting my friend because I was hella nervous and completely without any knowledge of who any of these people were. At this point the DJ decides that I will be his saving grace tells the cops I am his girl and I'm waiting to drive him home.
(What?,,,,,, ok whatever gets us out of here safely-White privilege to the rescue). The cops asked me if this was true and if I was there as a designated driver I sort of shrugged my shoulders affirmatively afraid to speak for "fear" of bringing attention to myself and becoming a target also, but I knew that I had to do something at the same time so I stepped up I tried to get the DJ to let me pack up the PA so we could get out of there but the cops were not going to let us just leave, they checked everyone's documents (everyone but mine) and continued threatening the bartender and DJ with all of the supposed crimes we were committing.
Around a quarter of 3 a light dings in one of the cops brains and one of them states they are actually breaking the law by keeping us in the bar so they have us all go outside where we have to sit quietly while they decide what to do with us. I am told to sit and wait as I have to drive people home, others taxis arrive, some peoples parents arrived, girlfriends etc.
Again no one checked my documentation but were more than willing to let me drive other people home. Maybe it was because I was calm, cool, collected or maybe it was because I was the only white person there to trust in their ideology. I don't know what was behind their thinking but I know I was hella privileged to not be subjected to their questions, lies, and bullying tactics.
Everyone was allowed to leave and the bar staff, DJ, and I were waiting for the cops to leave so we could leave also. When the cops did leave the three of us remaining hopped in the DJs car and I proceeded to drive them home. Dropped one off and at this point the DJ is telling me how to drive, how he does not usually like white girls but I'm so sexy I'm so this I'm so that, blah blah blah.
I am listening to all of these compliments carefully sandwiched into a complex mumble jumble amount of disgust for white people in general, all I can think is "You motherfucker so I am good enough to help you out of a jamup but now I am just a white girl again, only good enough to fuck?, please give me your address so I can drop you off and walk back to my place". His house ended up being way further than I thought btw. I get him back to his place and he starts trying to get me to come up, now this is where my (fight) came in although as a person with a SW degree it was heavily PC'd.
To summarize I said no, no thanks, not interested and a bunch of other responses where he continued to try to get me to stay this time he went into the safety argument while yes it was unsafe for me to walk 7 miles at 4 am it felt much less safe to go into an apartment with an agitated man that was clearly exercising his sexist privileges to get me there. He even asked me if I wasn't going to come up why did I drive him home, this is the funny part because all I could think was I wanted to help you and the cops told me to, and you put me in this situation by telling them I was going to drive you home. I really had to resist the urge to slap the shit out of him for saying that by the way.
I got out and walked my ass home or started to, a few blocks into it I got cold and called my roommate for a ride which he gladly did even though I woke him up, I only ended up walking a little over a mile, so thanks Trae.
In regards to his question about why I drove him home, Even in my defiance there was compliance to the authority, you see the whole time this was going on I kept picturing the brutal murder of Philando Castile and I felt like the whole reason for my existence last night was to be in that moment to de-escalate the situation, and make sure this DJ was not shot, killed and another statistic for a cops paid vacation.
His attempt at coercion and many of the other conversations I have listed here are examples of sexist behaviors where we see male privilege in general not white privilege just the egotistical male that has grown up in a society that uses females to get ahead and then drops em. Well if it was my car I would of pulled over and dropped him on the side of the road.
My head hurts and the adrenaline is completely wore off so I think that about sums up my first blog on privilege. I have lots more experiences with different types of privilege, accountability and observations of the parasympathetic nervous system I want to discuss in the near future so please leave a comment about how privilege has affected you and let's keep the conversation rolling.
-The Pueblo Poetess, 7-1-18.
Today's musical suggestion is all about me, lol. https://youtu.be/jCWlGJLEJoQ
Author - The Pueblo Poetess.
The Pueblo Poetess holds
multiple Degrees from the
University of MT. Poet,
Singer-Songwriter, Blogger,
Photographer, Curve Model,
Entertainer & more.
It's a Trade Thing, photography by your #happycoppertop :)
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