What do Curvy Women Want: To Exist?
She sighed into the phone "Simply to Exist" figuring that answer would be enough
she was quite challenged when he asked her "What that Meant"?
Immediately she wanted to respond in a way that would of been nothing but superficial explanations for fear of isolating her audience. What is a woman allowed to say she wants and what is a voluptuous woman allowed to take in a world that goes out of their way to make sure you feel uncomfortable for being bigger than a size 4 or 120lbs.
The fear of how would he respond bounced around in her brain making her eyes feel like saucers heading straight to space. The person on the other end of the line was a black man she had assumed he would know what she meant when saying simply to exist, is that not what is being fought for by minorities all over? As soon as she thought these questions the rhetorical nature of such assumptions became clear and she knew existence was not enough they were fighting for equality.
That was why he asked her the question, not to challenge her but out of general curiosity in what existence for the Curvy Woman would look like. Would existence be enough or was the fight really for equality between each of us?
Well, I can't speak for all curvy woman but I know what the concept of existence would look like for me. We want to be able to love ourselves as loudly & proudly as a size 2.
We want to do so without being shamed by our surroundings, what we want is more than existence, we the curvy are people of the world and we want equality too
Equality in all things and to work with all our Sisters & community members to eliminate facts of life like glass ceilings and the gender wage gap, but those are two subjects we'll touch on at another time.
We want to be treated like equal human beings, We want to be cherished and loved by those in our community for the unique perspectives & beauty we bring to our environments.
We want cute fashion and clothes that are made for us without all that plus plus nonsense & extra extra charge for a small piece of fabric or a few extra stitches to keep the girls up tight.
We want to see equal roles in the media for curvier people match the number of roles created featuring petite people, we'd like to see the media match real life.
We want to be seen as sexy & not as a fetish or last resort, we want to wear lace, satin, silk, & other clingy fabrics too.
We want sex, and we're damn good at it, we want to sit on your face & we want you to want us too. The great thing about sex with a curvy gal is you never have to worry about hurting your pelvis by smacking bones.
No panties should be wadding not skinny shaming, that's supposed to be a joke..:)
A few ways I've come up with to problem solve these challenges that the curvy person faces are: practice not participating in body shaming such as don't shame us one year for having big booties and then the next year celebrate a thin gal that went & got butt-implants to have the same bootie many of us are already walking around with.
Don't make jokes to your friends about getting the fat girl left at the bar, you got the fabulous girl and if you're gonna talk to each other about such things avoid reinforcing negative stereotypes that cause hurt & instead celebrate your friends enjoyment, zest for life & luck that they got to love on someone that likes to give all night.
Don't chose us last every night for games of various kinds, we probably won't bite, at least not right away. :)
If you have interest own it and come right up start with "hi" don't be douche or entitled that is not celebrating anything, just say hi.If you do get turned down walk away with your head held high, they have their reasons who are we to know them or to take their reasons upon ourselves as a personal reflection.
Never tell a curvy person how cute we would be if we lost ten lbs, or how surprised you are at our talents as if somehow being bigger than a size 4 would eliminate your potential.
You might have all the best intentions when you say these things but what you are really saying is not the positive inspirational statement you think it is, it is a critique sandwiched into a compliment really stating that you have to be less than who you are to be attractive, or to be strong, or talented.
Well that's enough of me today, hope your Monday has been fabulous and let's talk.
Please leave a comment and let me know what existence for you as a curvy person would look like, I'll review the comments and we'll talk more on this subject later.
Author - The Pueblo Poetess,
aka McAmberdawn.
The Pueblo Poetess holds
multiple Degrees from the
University of MT. She is a Poet,
Singer-Songwriter, Blogger,
Photographer, Curve Model,
Entertainer & more.
she was quite challenged when he asked her "What that Meant"?
Immediately she wanted to respond in a way that would of been nothing but superficial explanations for fear of isolating her audience. What is a woman allowed to say she wants and what is a voluptuous woman allowed to take in a world that goes out of their way to make sure you feel uncomfortable for being bigger than a size 4 or 120lbs.
The fear of how would he respond bounced around in her brain making her eyes feel like saucers heading straight to space. The person on the other end of the line was a black man she had assumed he would know what she meant when saying simply to exist, is that not what is being fought for by minorities all over? As soon as she thought these questions the rhetorical nature of such assumptions became clear and she knew existence was not enough they were fighting for equality.
That was why he asked her the question, not to challenge her but out of general curiosity in what existence for the Curvy Woman would look like. Would existence be enough or was the fight really for equality between each of us?
Well, I can't speak for all curvy woman but I know what the concept of existence would look like for me. We want to be able to love ourselves as loudly & proudly as a size 2.
We want to do so without being shamed by our surroundings, what we want is more than existence, we the curvy are people of the world and we want equality too
Equality in all things and to work with all our Sisters & community members to eliminate facts of life like glass ceilings and the gender wage gap, but those are two subjects we'll touch on at another time.
We want to be treated like equal human beings, We want to be cherished and loved by those in our community for the unique perspectives & beauty we bring to our environments.
We want cute fashion and clothes that are made for us without all that plus plus nonsense & extra extra charge for a small piece of fabric or a few extra stitches to keep the girls up tight.
We want to see equal roles in the media for curvier people match the number of roles created featuring petite people, we'd like to see the media match real life.
We want to be seen as sexy & not as a fetish or last resort, we want to wear lace, satin, silk, & other clingy fabrics too.
We want sex, and we're damn good at it, we want to sit on your face & we want you to want us too. The great thing about sex with a curvy gal is you never have to worry about hurting your pelvis by smacking bones.
No panties should be wadding not skinny shaming, that's supposed to be a joke..:)
A few ways I've come up with to problem solve these challenges that the curvy person faces are: practice not participating in body shaming such as don't shame us one year for having big booties and then the next year celebrate a thin gal that went & got butt-implants to have the same bootie many of us are already walking around with.
Don't make jokes to your friends about getting the fat girl left at the bar, you got the fabulous girl and if you're gonna talk to each other about such things avoid reinforcing negative stereotypes that cause hurt & instead celebrate your friends enjoyment, zest for life & luck that they got to love on someone that likes to give all night.
Don't chose us last every night for games of various kinds, we probably won't bite, at least not right away. :)
If you have interest own it and come right up start with "hi" don't be douche or entitled that is not celebrating anything, just say hi.If you do get turned down walk away with your head held high, they have their reasons who are we to know them or to take their reasons upon ourselves as a personal reflection.
Never tell a curvy person how cute we would be if we lost ten lbs, or how surprised you are at our talents as if somehow being bigger than a size 4 would eliminate your potential.
You might have all the best intentions when you say these things but what you are really saying is not the positive inspirational statement you think it is, it is a critique sandwiched into a compliment really stating that you have to be less than who you are to be attractive, or to be strong, or talented.
Well that's enough of me today, hope your Monday has been fabulous and let's talk.
Please leave a comment and let me know what existence for you as a curvy person would look like, I'll review the comments and we'll talk more on this subject later.
Author - The Pueblo Poetess,
aka McAmberdawn.
multiple Degrees from the
University of MT. She is a Poet,
Singer-Songwriter, Blogger,
Photographer, Curve Model,
Entertainer & more.
Learning how to be more appreciative of curvy individuals is very important to community unification. I still slip and make mistakes, but practicing to care for curvy people is imperative to me. Thank you for bringing this subject to light and keeping up accountable. I hope I am using the right language.
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